Family, Individual and Couples Counseling
The noted marriage researcher, John Gottman, claims that the average couple that enters marriage or couples counseling has been in a troubled relationship for over six years.
While past generations of couples have taken the attitude of “grin and bear it” when difficulties arise in their relationship, these days most couples are less willing to tolerate an unhappy marriage.
There are several things to consider when pursuing couples counseling or therapy. Timing is everything. If one person is clear that they feel the need for another set of eyes and ears, it’s probably time. It’s not a good idea to wait until both partners are completely on board with the idea of getting professional help, because waiting too long can be very costly, in more ways than one. The more entrenched the problems, the longer it cane take to resolve them.
Secondly, choose a therapist that you both feel comfortable that you can work with. Also remember that your counselor is your consultant, not a fixer. As dynamic as the couples counseling process is, it requires each partner to take an active role in the process and to be willing to be an involved agent in influencing its outcome. The counselor is there to assist and guide you to consider new and different ways of looking at things.
How long marriage counseling takes is largely determined by different variables and specific needs and goals of each couple. Asma uses Emotion Focused Couples Therapy, Gottman Method and some other solution focused relationship counseling strategies to help her clients create real change.
Couples usually start out by attending weekly, then every other week and dropping off to monthly meetings as they start to get traction making positive changes, and focus on putting into practice the things they discuss in their sessions.
Even after couples are “done” and have successfully made many positive changes in their relationships sometimes they still schedule periodic check-ins during “touch up” sessions with Asma as part of their investment in having an exquisite marriage.
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